Deciding to start your family can be hard. I remember being penniless and in law school and the thing I needed to hear was "children have a way of paying for themselves". That sentence removed all my fears and I was ready to start my family, although we did wait another four years. I see it's not that simple for you, so here I am awake at 2:32 AM because my baby boy has a sore throat, writing this post because if I don't get these thoughts out of my head they will continue to keep me awake--or I will forget them. Both are highly likely, and I want to go to sleep. So here are my top 10 reasons not to wait:
1. Cute things come in small packages.
Here's a shallow reason: baby clothes are so CUTE! My little baby boy wears a shirt that says "Mr. Handsome" and I melt all day long. He sure is handsome. Or I dress him for church in his button down collared shirt and I think of the future when he'll be a man, and my heart melts a little.
Or the countless tutus that line our dress-up box. When my girls get on their tutus and dance around, or their never ending stash or mardi gras beads...kinda annoying...they're so adorable! Lol.
2. You can do hard things.
You were sent here to be tested and tried and to succeed. If life gets hard, just remind yourself that you can do hard things. Did you know I finished my personal progress after having three kids, because it wasn't hard enough to do while I was in high school; for some reason I needed a greater challenge. You moved a lot, kinda like Tyler, I'm glad I didn't have to do that. That would have been hard for me. You've done hard things in the past and you can do hard things in the future. Accepting that it will be hard seems to make it easier!
3. Your baby is a mini-you and that bonds them to you in a heartbeat.
When I look at Charlotte's eyes I see my eyes, I love our eyes! When my children walk into walls I think of my-clumsy-self and I love them more. When Josie acts red-in-the-face-stubborn I think of my first year of marriage and all the growth I went through. I love her even more for being like me. When she exhibits all my flaws I think on how I can be better. I think about how I have grown and changed through my flaws and how my children will have similar growing experiences. Your children are like you, for better or worse, I think it's for better. You know how to manage your flaws and you are the perfect person to help your beautiful child manage theirs. Besides, your children get to share your likes. I love crafting and so does Josie, today she was sewing. Nicole likes sports and so does Egan (he know the names of balls that I don't even know). Imagine going to the zoo with your little baby and know that you will both love seeing the seals swim and the monkeys swing. (Wouldn't an ocean themed nursery be cute?) Sheri said when she was raising her children she never realized she would be raising her best friends.
4. Because waiting won't make it easier.
If you do it today, if you wait until after the summer, if you work first..if...if...if... it won't be any easier. Today or tomorrow, you may be a little more mature, but it will still be hard.
5. Watching a father hold his child heals your heart.
No matter how long the baby has cried, how many times the baby has spit up, how worn out or exhausted you are, your husband will pick that child up in their arms and all your hurts will be healed. Watching your husband, whom you love in an eternal way, hold your baby makes every fairy tale true.
There's no greater experience than watching Charlotte play the piano and sing while instructing her father to play along. There is nothing sweeter than a father holding his daughter while he explains why we give toys to others at Christmas, struggling to help his daughter be self-less. Or when he rolls on the floor with your 9 month old with pure joy on his face.
When your husband holds his child, you feel the trust they place in him and you know that you're not alone in the beautiful journey of parenthood.
6. Now is a transition in your life, why not choose the transition into motherhood.
I squeezed my first child into my last semester of college and that was one tight squeeze! But you have a break, you are beginning the next chapter. What would you like this chapter to be like? Besides, you live in a place where you will be a common denominator. I never fit in. I was the only married 19 year old in all of D.C., then I was the only person living in their in-law's basement in a well established ward. I've never been invited to a play date--EVER. Josie is still the only girl in sunbeams. I'm envious of Nicole for that, no one wanted to be in my preschool co-op. NO ONE. You're in Utah, where lots of moms will join your co-op and you'll have play dates every week. You'll be so lucky!
7. You are never alone.
Your mother may live far away, your mother-in-law may live a little closer; but you are never alone. They are only a phone call away and besides, you have a village at your disposal. You husband is only a phone call away. I remember when William was born I called Russell and said, "Everyone is crying at me." And he said, "I'm packing up my stuff right now." When he got home I had managed the situations, but his gesture is what helped me through! My Visiting Teacher watched my baby so I could take the girls to see Frozen. (I love my visiting teacher). You live next to Lindsey, who has already spent most of a semester watching my baby, she's already trained. I'm sure you have family that I don't even know about that you can rely upon! Not to mention Bryson and Nicole who would have you over for dinner in a heartbeat. You are so lucky to live in a village. Have you heard the story of Sheri buying a plane ticket to Mexico when Charlotte was born? Our mothers are never more than a plane ticket away.
8. You are never alone x2.
I face hard things with three kids under five. But somehow, with prayer and love I make it through everyday. More importantly, I like myself at the end of everyday, because I rely on my Heavenly Father for support in my down moments. I have yet to have a prayer over my parenting go unanswered--except for Charlotte to start talking. Still waiting on that one. I can ask Heavenly Father why my baby is crying, I can receive inspiration from the Holy Ghost to help my baby calm down. Or at least I can better understand the pain they might be going through. Heavenly Father answers prayers over his babies quickly. He loves your child, he loves you! When you have bad moments you have repentance. You can say sorry to your toddler for being impatient, and you can try again tomorrow to be amazing. Children are very forgiving and forgetful and they love you back so fiercely. Parenthood is a perfecting process, but you only have to do it one day at a time.
9. Everyone has a different experience with motherhood and pregnancy.
Sheri has some horrible pregnancy stories, sorry Lindsey. If you ask Nicole and I, we never had it that bad. In fact, other than being uncomfortably big, pregnancy wasn't bad for me. Labor was cake--hello Epidural. Recovery was a little rocky for me after the first baby, but it was way easier after the second. Did you know some people's babies sleep through the night? Mine NEVER do that. There are stages you'll love and stages you won't love and life will ebb and flow. Your experiences will be tailor fit to your body and your personality and your baby. There may not be a guide to your life, but there are plenty of "how to" manuals, and some of them are pretty comedic! Don't trust a mom who thinks she has everything figured out...the only thing I have figured out is that everyone in my house is constantly changing and growing and I need to be flexible. Flexibility and forgiveness will bring happiness.
10. The greatest compliment you can receive is that of Mother.
When Adam was giving names he named woman Eve,
because she was the mother of all living. The greatest compliment he could give his wife was not skinny or sexy, but Mother. He understood her eternal potential, he understood where she would find the greatest happiness. He was wise and when she had to leave the garden, he loved her enough to go with her. He wanted to help her fulfill her divine destiny to mother the human race. He understood the great commandment and he was eager to begin. God has given us nurturing qualities that will kick in when the stork delivers our bundle of joy. There is no greater joy on earth than being a mother!
This is all the wisdom I can squeeze out at 3:39AM, I hope it was enough. You can never really be ready, you'll have to jump in with both feet. There are too many incalculable things for anyone to really be ready. You just have to be confident and know that the Lord is ever mindful of you. And when you decide to begin don't forget to let us know. I kinda hate finding things like that out on Facebook.
Love,
Debra
